I Lie Awake, But Dreaming

At home I turn on the TV
So it’s not me just breathing.
In bed I lie awake but I’m dreaming
Of the future, of life, of you.


And the weight of it all sets in.
How I’ve never let life begin.
How I stood still on ice, thin.
Waiting for the thaw to fall through.


But life is all just consequence.
Shades designed of novel colored lens.
Where we are besieged by providence
And all life, with effort, can start anew.


So it is a burden that I will lift.
Carry it heavy over land and rift.
A love I give profusely, a gift
For I only, could only, be true.


But now I dream as now I sleep.
And colored bars that display on TV,
Offer no comfort to a risen grief.
That I may never, ever be with you.


That I can’t kiss your neck, your face.
Or lose my anxiety in your embrace.
Or hold you and feel us assimilate.
That dreams turn to visions of gloom.


Let us love in reciprocal fashion.
Let us fulfill a spilling passion.