So I thought I’d put a blog down. Why not right? It’s only been like ten days. But I still can’t muster up anything so I thought I’d share one or two old myspace blogs

you guys should check out some of my old myspace blogs. God, I read some of them and I can hear the naivete in them. When I still felt super optimistic. When my latest project was the only thing there was.

I miss that person a lot sometimes. I miss that love.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Something Lost and Now Is Found
Current mood:contemplating sadness and TV

You know my favorite Buffy the Vampire Slayer– yeah that’s right I said it– my favorite Buffy is the musical one. It’s really cool. but maybe its because i really enjoy musicals. yep thats me get used to it. plus i have such a vivd memory about talking about it with a friend with whom i miss so very much. i should call that person if the number is the same and if that person welcomes my voice or if i’m ready. although i’m not sure what i’m preparing for. i hate and love old tv shows especially the ones i can associate memories with because it fills me with some type of sadness and happiness. its a nostalgic feeling because i can remember when the episode was new and it makes me feel like i’m getting old. haha some people determine time by hours, days, months, years. I determine it by tv shows past. you know i didn’t intend this blog to be so long because all i wanted to say was that the musical buffy is my favorite buffy but i didn’t know how much memory i tied up with that one particular episode. i often wonder if i’m the only person that feels like this about old tv shows and how a plesant memory can be tied to it. I find myself wondering if that particular person is thinking about me; at least sometimes.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

ah dunno
Current mood: depressed

I feel sick. Like i have eaten too much and now i need to pee. I can’t pee though. I feel as if i’m going to jump out of my skin. I’m not on drugs. I feel seasick. i shake involuntarily; I stay as still as I can and i notice it. I need to take a shit but i don’t. I don’t want tomorrow to happen yet. not until I get some answers. Late Nite is on but I don’t care. Jay Leno isn’t that funny but I won’t stay up for Conan. At least not tonight. I feel like giving up on some goal I haven’t even visioned. I need a hand but don’t expect one, though i know i have two. I need to talk and not to this computer but to some type of human. i want to spill my guts– metaphorically of course. I want to squeeze out this anxiety and fear of pain from my heart and feel light again because i feel so heavy. give me an ekg to show the palpitations of just desire. Desire such a cause for suffering and all the time i wish to just not care to put my fist into a face and not hurt to be such an asshole all the time. the minutes waste and i know there is much i can do with them but when i rise i cannot breath and i take deep breaths and exhale long sighs. i wish i didn’t know what a sigh was. i wish i could cry but they don’t come out even when i poke my eye. there is a difference to being alone and feeling alone.

and I add this last because I think it shows how best I was at being a fresh naive kid, that paintball made me so happy it was all I needed. I miss that David

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Augest? anyway, new trigger frame fo’ my spyder shutter…
LOVE this piece of kick ass machinery!!! awesome! I just put an electronic trigger on my paintball gun and it will kick ass on the 21st of august!

Sorry if you can careless and that by reading this blog i have wasted 30 seconds (or 1 minute, or two, or three, depending on how fast you can read…) of your time… but awesome if i can find a pic i’ll show it here:

can’t find a pic yet