Air Guitar

You play the air guitar

I’ll sing the longest lines

Everyone is watching

But we’ll pay them no mind

 

We’ll sing some Jets to Brazil

Or maybe some Jimmy Eat World

We can even spit Dashboard

Screaming about some girl

 

–Look the point here is that

You’re always lead air guitar–

 

And when this friendship ends

(As most inevitably do)

Know I’ll always remember you

Curiosity and the Cat

I know what curiosity

Compelled the cat

It was his opposite

That took him aback

 

His soul mate

Of himself a mirror

And to himself

A grievous error

 

Love can be so sad

Unforgettable

And never to be had

But he relies on hope

 

Played at with paw

Inspected and espied

Unnoticed fatal flaw

Like a time bomb ticking

 

Love killed the cat

Dodos

We are a rare breed, some say a dying one

Old souls filled with self pity and sympathy

And desire to give and give like a supernova sun

Our hearts are super-glued rubik’s cubes

 

They like us ‘cause we love with few conditions

We want, but don’t require her love not even touch

Our minds wander and we live for her potential kiss

A certain unrequited love we hide from ourselves

 

And we are poached close to extinction

Like Dodos, not dumb, perhaps naïve

Ready to want but willing to die

Empty handed empathy and smiles

 

It what we live for—a rare breed indeed

And its what we die for til we are no more

Dee Dee

I

 

Hey little Dee Dee you’re fast asleep.
Don’t you cry, let your mom catch a wink.
In my arms you’re safe, I swear.
Daddy will always be right there.

 

From the hospital you were wrapped in pink.
Took a few tries and an hour to set your seat.
We drove off into a wonderful life.
Mama and daughter by my side.

 

Hey little Dee Dee, there you are.
Kind, generous, and oh so smart.
You know mama gave you all her looks,
And daddy gave you all his books.

 

Baby you’re like my own north star,
When I feel low you fill my heart.
Mama taught you well I see,
Getting what you want, pulling my strings.

 

Hey little Dee Dee you’re off to school.
Look at your daddy, crying like a fool.
I know that it’s just a matter of when
I’m gonna see that pretty face again.

 

Don’t mind the bullies baby you’re way too cool.
Got a thousand talents and a handy tool.
Yeah little darling you’ve got a way with words,
Speaking to the world like a chirping bird.

 

Hey little Dee Dee, you’ve gotten so tall.
Time to trade the tiara for a soccer ball.
Honey you’ll always be my princess.
Mama has for you a pretty dress.

 

Winnie the Pooh and your barbie doll,
Watch as we watch you out grow them all.
But I’m still longing for the past,
Stay a little girl, make it last.

 

Hey little Dee Dee don’t cut your hair.
If you do, mama is gonna despair.
You see you got her long brown locks
And her freckles on your face, they flock.

 

So much of the beauty you both share
I thank God every time I am there.
To experience an unbridled love
I just hope that I can be enough.

 

Hey little Dee Dee you’re all grown.
Mine and your mom’s lessons you’ve sown.
And now you head out into the world,
A beautiful woman, my little girl.

 

You’ll live a life you’ve always known.
You’ll feel a love that we’ve shown.
A man will love you and ask your hand,
You’ll say yes and accept your band.

 

Hey Delilah do you love your mom and dad?
We grow old but don’t you dare be sad.
We couldn’t have asked for a better life,
Than having our beautiful Dee Dee by our side.

 

II

 

Hey little girl I can’t seem to see your face.
You were my baby once but what was your name?
There is a beauty in you that I rightly lament,
My pretty little girl in a white linen blanket.

 

I had a dream that the little girl was mine.
Created her with love of a beautiful wife.
But I awoke in the darkness and cold,
Gasping in panic at the loss of sunshine.

 

Every night I lie chewing on emptiness.
What am I dreaming that has me in agony?
A life I led through a disgusting mess,
Shattered my heart in a thousand pieces.

 

Now I’m scattered among the stars,
Searching for where both of you are.
But how can I find what I frantically seek,
When I awake just as I reach?

 

I know your face I’ve imagined it much.
I loved your mom as she turned away.
I love her still even if you fade,
My precious Dee– damn, what’s your name?

 

Oh beautiful girl I’ve felt so sick.
This love of mine for you for her,
Has found my heart turned cavity,
Filled with stones, filled with sticks.

 

Those smiles lines or wrinkles as you’ve said,
Those freckles that you have I can surely recall.
Came from your most gorgeous, stunning mom.
It’s everything I dream of it’s a beautiful psalm.

 

I recite those words every night before bed.
Trying to develop the memory or anything at all
Where is my little baby girl, where is my wife?
I’m tumbling into a hole, into an abyss of life.

 

And as I grow old, I’ve settled into this role.
“How many in your party sir?” “Lady, just one.”
“You don’t have a wife nor a daughter or son?”
“Lady, who are you, why reach into my soul?”

 

At home I sit in what is my favorite chair,
Turn on the TV, dream of that lovely long hair.
That you get from your mama, or so I suppose.
Hell why I’m at it, also that pointy sweet nose.

 

And so I sleep, I dream, the TV screams
Of a better life if I just drink a smooth whiskey.
And somewhere along the folds of my mind,
I spot my precious little Dee Dee and my wife.

 

I open my eyes in confusion and pain of loss
Where am I now? These wires, tubes and beeps
Betray a reality I have never ever seen.
I wrestle for an out but a weakness holds me down

 

“Mister don’t fuss, try to die with dignity.”
What will fail first I wonder with clarity.
I made you all up, my love and my sweet Dee–.

 

There in a life he lived a fantasy.

I Lie Awake, But Dreaming

At home I turn on the TV
So it’s not me just breathing.
In bed I lie awake but I’m dreaming
Of the future, of life, of you.

 

And the weight of it all sets in.
How I’ve never let life begin.
How I stood still on ice, thin.
Waiting for the thaw to fall through.

 

But life is all just consequence.
Shades designed of novel colored lens.
Where we are besieged by providence
And all life, with effort, can start anew.

 

So it is a burden that I will lift.
Carry it heavy over land and rift.
A love I give profusely, a gift
For I only, could only, be true.

 

But now I dream as now I sleep.
And colored bars that display on TV,
Offer no comfort to a risen grief.
That I may never, ever be with you.

 

That I can’t kiss your neck, your face.
Or lose my anxiety in your embrace.
Or hold you and feel us assimilate.
That dreams turn to visions of gloom.

 

Let us love in reciprocal fashion.
Let us fulfill a spilling passion.

Inhale, Exhale (Pendulum)

I’m a pendulum of emotion
An incessant metronome
Tick tock, I swing to and fro
From all one to all alone.

 

Inhale,
Exhale.
Inhale,
Exhale.

 

Trust the process, trust our souls
But I’ve lost myself in the folds.
There I lie sleepless and unstirred
Breathing in and out the hopeless burn.

 

Inhale,
Exhale.
Inhale,
Exhale.

 

Panic ensues at the edge of the swing.
The tears well up and fall on blink
But lo it falls and love bursts at the seams,
I am a pendulum, dizzy.

 

Inhale,
Exhale.
Inhale,
Exhale.

 

I don’t know if it will ever end,
Forever locked, the swing, the bend.
Manic, depressed, broken, fixed,
All one, alone, unaltered, mixed.

 

Inhale.

 

Exhale.

 

An Insomniac’s Dream

Sleep? You must be dreaming

He’s never been so awake in life

A summer solstice of insomnia

Walking for a midnight snack

Burning eyes from dawn to down

Obsessive and skewered thought

 

Tired, dizzy but not at all thought

To fall asleep, too close to dreaming

Dreams so destructively down

To the ideology of his own love life

His mind is her devilish snack

Aggravating a sickening insomnia

 

A simple and not so sweet insomnia

Plucking at the folds of his thought

A brownie and cold milk snack

Welcoming the relief of dreaming

A melancholy medley of waking life

A harp on fire breaking his soul down

 

A soul that could only break down

Under the weight of the insufferable insomnia

A sleeping seeping into his waking life

Confusing and hazing his thought—

His love for her—he must be dreaming

A dream where her body is his snack

 

Beautiful body-face-legs for his snack

Starting from her head and going down

Although he may just be dreaming

She caused/cured his intolerable insomnia

As she invaded his every thought

Choking his synapses, numbing life

 

She owned his pathetic life

Obsessive—needing of his snack

As this, his only train of thought

The engine of a chest up and down

Screams against a lost insomnia

Screaming against the futility of dreaming

 

Her eyes, souls of the down

Trodden. Stealing his breath and insomnia

She is the reason he’s dreaming